Thoughts in Boucan Patriot

We finally arrived at Boucan after our off-road excursion just a bit behind schedule. As a result, clinics and Bible studies were postposed until the following day. This village was quite a bit more established in that, this is where Living Water Ministries has their clinic set up. And instead of the church and school being combined as they were in Petit, they were two completely seperate buildings. As in the other villages, malnutrition was again a big concern. There was one patient who was only in her 40's but due to severe malnutriton she could barely walk nor did she have the energy to carry her frail body from the clinic to the bench outside the clinic on which she laid down. Of all the cases that we saw in that particular village this is the one that really has stuck with me because it started raising some new questions and concerns.Perhaps it is part of my take charge personality, but when I see a problem posed, possible solutions begin racing faster than I can even process them. Ok, so the children that attend the schools supported by ministries, such as Living Water Ministires, at least receive one meal per day during the school week. And throught supporting ministries like this we can at least addresses the threat of child malnutrition but what of the adults, like this young woman for example? How can a similar program be formed to reach those that are being forgotten? If ministries like this one can increase their funding, would branching out their meal program even be an option? Or even a priority? I think if we do not address this issue we are doing a great disservice because is it not this neglected generation also the ones who are raising up the children. We can teach children a lot in schools but what about their home lives where they spend a good majority of their time? Children tend to follow the path of their parents whether they are aware of it or not. The following story which various people have shared with me over the past couple years happens to be a prime example of this very trend.

There was a little girl who always loved to help her mom cook dinner at night. This little girl always watched her mother cook the roast but each time before her mother put the roast in the dish, she always cut off the last three inches of it and threw it in the trash. This was peculiar to the little girl and finally she asked her mom why she always did that. The mom was perplexed and did not have an answer for her young daughter other than, that was the way her mom always made the roast. Finally unable to come up with a logical explaination, the little girl's mom called her mother to find out why she had always cut the end of the roast in such a way when she had been growing up. Again there was no rhyme or reason as to why she too had been doing this same cut and disposing of what was seemingly good meat other than it was what her mother did. Then one afternoon the all of the ladies were gathered, the little girl, her mother, her grandmother, and this time her great-grandmother was there as well. When the question was posed by the little girl's grandmother to her own mom, the girl's great-grandmother responsed with, "...I cut it because the pan was not big enough to fit the whole roast."

It is a simple story that really does have a lot of truth to it. Often children follow blindly in their parents footsteps without even questioning because that's all they have ever known. I agree that feeding and educating the children needs to come first but I think that feeding and ministering the rest of the village should be a close second. Do they not also need to have Christ's love shared with them? And if you can perhaps begin instilling these values with the older generations all the subsequent ones might grow even stronger having seen those they look up to be converted from the culturally accepted practice of Voodoo to that of Christianity. And statistically speaking, Voodoo would be weeded out even quicker than if we were to wait for the children to get to this point to start the conversion. All I am trying to say is that I think something needs to be done to reach those being overlooked. Believe me the brainstorming does not stop here.

Note* The photo on the right is that of the young woman mentioned above and the effect that the malnutrition has had on her lower extremities.

I saw some of the sweetest interactions between mothers and there children here in Boucan Patriot. The photo of this particular mom and her daughter is one that always inspires a smile knowing that there some bonds that are cross-cultural, such as the bond a mother has with her children.

Road to Boucan Patriot

For those of you that have been waiting so patiently on me, thank you once again. I have been so sidetracked with organizing all of the photos that getting my thoughts organized appears to have fallen through the cracks.

The village on the schedule after leaving Guniaudee was called Boucan Patriot. It was supposed to be another hour and a half drive but shortly after departing from Guinaudee, the truck found its way into quite a rut that added another 3 hours to our time. Though we were out in the middle of nowhere in between villages you would have been amazed at how quickly word traveled. Within a matter of minutes from our first getting stuck, there were people coming from every different direction. All of the school children made their way down the road and in total there must have been 150+ people that now joined us along the narrow mountain road. A few of our Haitian brothers began digging with their hands in an effort to free the buried tire and it was also amazing to see perfect strangers who happened to be walking by, immediately stop and start helping. If there is one thing that resonates throughout this country, (no matter what part of Haiti I found myself in) it all comes back down to that idea of community and selflessness. Whether seen through the innocent interactions between children like those in Petit or the sacrifice of time as we saw this particular afternoon, it was moving to see people helping others without regard to self. "Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." (1 Cor 10:24 ESV) I really cannot seem to say enough about what an inspiration the Haitian people have been for my own life. I apologize if any of this sounds repetitive but it is just that I can barely contain my excitement and it has had such a huge impact that I can’t help but put a lot of emphasis on this aspect of Haitian culture! I have learned so many simple lessons while I was there and even now though I have been home for a few weeks the Holy Spirit continues to convict me of new things each day. It blows me away that these have all been lessons that God has taught me time and time again, yet, much like the Israelites, my retention is not quite up to par. We, and when I say "we" I am speaking on behalf of myself, tend loose focus. Our outlook gets so skewed that we lose sight of those very simple concepts that form the foundation of our faith. So for example, since I have job-searching on my mind, is it not true that we as Christians sometimes feel that there are so many things that we are called to do that perhaps we need a "job description" written out for our Christian walk? It would just make things so much easier. We do have this so to speak through the Word but ultimately it comes down to following Jesus' example. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Cor 10:31). This is so easy to talk about but when we actually go to apply it to our lives then it becomes an entirely different story. Even as Christians, we are often so consumed with our lives and what we need to get done that we are blind to all of the doors God is opening up right before us to serve and edify one another. How many times do we look the other way when God is calling us to serve to one degree or another because we just don’t feel like it? Are we embracing these as the opportunities they are or have they become chores that we dread? How do we forget that we are here for Him? When did we allow our will surpass His? I know I am guilty of this more than I’d care to admit. We forget that it is supposed to be all about Him. Everything! Not just bits and pieces of our lives but every single aspect should be reflecting this very thing. As John 3:30 states, “He must increase, I must decrease.” I am sure that I have referenced this verse in a previous post and it is also the message that appears every time I start up my phone, it’s just that I think it is such a pertinent reminder for our everyday walk. This is not to say that we don’t or won’t get tripped up with various distractions and fall into the trap of looking out for our own interests above the interests of others. But when all is said and done...“It’s all about You, Jesus.”

A Couple Days in Guinaudee

By the time we finally arrived in Guinaudee it was dark and when we went to open the back gate it was almost startling because all we could see was about thirty pairs of eyes staring at us as we started to unloaded. Some of the people in this village were friendly and welcoming but there was a large portion who were still very unsure about us being there. No matter how hard I tried not to compare the villages that we went to, it was very difficult especially since we had started out at the incomparable Petit Paradis. I had to be sensitive to the fact that we were strangers in their home. They were certainly curious about us but I am not sure they were as receptive. We set up camp in the schoolhouse with an extensive array of mosquito nets all over the place. I could not help but recall the original Parent Trap movie when the girls booby-trapped the other mean girls' tent during the middle of the night. It was a quite humorous parallel. So while we had our mosquito threat covered I soon uncovered an infestation of biting ants right on my slab of concrete were I was supposed to sleep. I did end up sleeping sitting up with my suitcase that particular evening because for whatever reason I could not get comfortable. However, it was all put in perspective as the night before we were in rat and scorpion territory. Did you know it takes something like 17 scorpion stings to kill you? I slept at ease knowing this little known fact. ;o) Rats were sounding pretty good by this point!

We were in Guinaudee to celebrate Easter the following morning. So for the four different Haitian church services that I attended while in Haiti, the one thing I noticed at all of them was that no matter what type of living conditions the people were coming from, their church clothes were always in mint condition. How were they able to keep these dresses stark white especially considering some of them lived in mud huts? And the fact that many of them had to walk for miles to even get to church in the morning? Just something interesting to note...the church service I attended weeks later in Cap Haitian held about 3,000 to 5,000 people but would you believe there was no parking lot??? Hard to believe, I know. Though we don't think much about our church attire and attendance back in the states, for people in Haiti this is something that is very important. It was awesome and encouraging to see where their priorities fell. Why is church something that we feel so flippantly about? Why do we take it so lightly? Is it again that we just have so much that is "more important" going on in our lives, that spending this time with God and our church community becomes an afterthought? It really is a sad thing that so many of us lack this motivation to put God first in our lives. As the pastor at my church here in Missouri spoke to this past Sunday, we need to put our "To Do Lists" on hold and focus on all the relationships in our lives. For those of you that know me, you know that I typically am one of those people who can have up to 5 of these lists going at any one particular point in time. I think that I really needed to hear this message especially directly following my return to reality, for there are so many things that need to be done. Since I have been back, I have really been trying to make sure that my priorities have been reorganized to reflect this very thing. When we look back on our lives, what is it that matters...All the money we've made? The house that we lived in? How kempt our front lawn was? Was it that we had that boat/rv come retirement?...Or is it the love that we shared? And the bonds that we made that are most important? Growing up with an alcoholic and workaholic parent, looking back you realize that you would have much rather had this parent spend time with you, rather than anything else in the world. We need to stop spending all of our efforts on those things that will burn up in the end and rather invest our resources in those relationships that far outlast the temporal. Investing in our relationship with Christ and those people God has put in our lives is something that doesn't depreciate after you drive it off the lot. Rather it is the only investment that means a darn thing as far as eternity goes. As pastor brought up and as referenced in Toby Mac's song, Lose My Soul, "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?" (Mark 8:36)

Ok, so while I was out for my run there was just one more verse God reminded me of..."For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21) --Where is your heart...with those you love or those 'things' you love?

* Note: The above photos are from the clinic and children's VBS that we held there in Guinaudee the Monday after Easter.

A Very Real Voodoo Presence

Well I probably should have just thrown in the towel on ever getting caught up...but that is just so unlike me! I am now officially "home" (if you will). It has been a challenge coming back to reality and the many responsibilities that that entails, but I guess it had to happen at some point. I finally decided to take a break between calling insurance adjusters and phone companies, job searching, cleaning/packing, and trying to sort through oh so many photos, at least long enough to get one more post up. I have also been working on setting up the photos so everyone can take a look at them but have not decided which method I prefer so please be patient with me. The stubborn side of me wants to customize the interface but for practicality purposes I may have to cave and use something like Snapfish. I will post a link as soon as it becomes available.

The memories seem to get more and more foggy with each day that passes. So today's post will be picking up from our departure from Petit Paradis to our next village of Guinaudee. This next village was another three hours deeper into the mountains so it gave us plenty of time for our tears (from leaving Petit) to dry up but there was nothing that could have prepared us for what we would encounter on this drive. Apparently the practice of Voodoo is even more prominent in these mountain villages than it is in Port au Prince and it did not help that we were traveling through the mountains over Easter weekend (4/3 - to be exact). As we soon found out this is also the weekend that those who practice Voodoo celebrate what they call, Rah Rah . As one of my Haitian brothers explained, it usually consists of a parade ritual and is followed by cock fighting. Now when I say parade, it does not carry the same connotation it does in the States with candy flying and everyone having a merry-ole' time. Sorry, I really do not mean to make light of what is and was a very serious, not to mention dangerous matter. Along our drive we came upon, I think it was either three or four villages' Rah Rah parades. We did not think much of them at first because their numbers were slight and they did not do anything to disturb us other than yelling things at us, which again made me glad that my creole was limited. In between the parade encounters the drive was laced with the most amazingly breathtaking views. Once you were able to get past the tremendous drop offs on both sides, you could see the coast off to the right and then endless mountains off to the left. If one looked long and hard enough, what must have been hundreds of villages could be seen all around us on the sides of the mountains. It is safe to say that we were very easily preoccupied by the scenery between Rah Rah sightings, at least until we came upon the largest one yet. This group was much larger and much more aggressive than the others and refused to get let us pass. So we were forced to come to a complete stop and not long after that they had surrounded our truck. Since I was in the very back of the dump truck I was having trouble seeing exactly what was going on up ahead until they made their way down the sides and rear of the truck with not only their machetes but also blades attached to the ends of long poles. By this time taking photos was not really an option as I did not want to put our whole group in danger and anger the mob any further. Hence, I have no photos to document this portion of the journey. We were advised to get down and out of sight as these weapons could have very easily reached us as we were. The part that concerned me most was that they had access to the back latch and there would not have been much we could have done had they tried to open the back gate. I just remember immediately starting to pray that God would protect us. The only thing that I could see from this position was the witch doctor's flag upon the hill accompanied by the sounds of their shouts and drums. We did find out later from the portion of our group that was in a smaller vehicle that this parade actually had a man tied up whom they were whipping to death. In talking to our Haitian brothers in the truck with us we also found out that this is a common practice for someone to be chosen, drugged, and beaten during these celebrations. It was also pointed out that this same person is typically sacrificed later that night so as to make a mockery of Christ and His death on the cross.

Finally after what seemed like hours, but was really minutes, our Haitian brothers shouted a few things to the mob and they eventually moved out of the way of the front of the vehicle and we were able to get back on the road towards Guinaudee. After this particular encounter and many nights of trying to fall asleep to the Voodoo drums in the distance, I found myself really struggling and concerned that my faith was not strong enough to withstand such tests. As if it was not already, it became even more of a priority to pour into the Word and in prayer so that I might be able to stand firm in the faith and keep whatever evil was lurking, at bay. It is extremely difficult to try to explain this unsettling feeling so you will probably just have to take my word for it on this one. It's not like the the feeling one gets in a scary movie but a whole lot more real and all encompassing than that.

For obvious reasons, this experience was one that was utterly disturbing and still stands out in my mind. I will say that after going through all of this it really made me spend some much needed time reflecting. We know that God sent His son to die for us, but we often get so preoccupied with the busyness and self-centeredness of life that it is easy to loose sight of what an amazing gift that truly is. Why would He do such a thing? Who are we to be worthy of that?...That is just it! He does not save us because of who we are but rather because of who He is. How awesome is that!? This is something that I pray will permeate each one of our lives...that we might gain a better understanding of this Great Love."But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy (Titus 3:4-5)."

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)."

*Note(photo) - On our return trip from Guinaudee a couple days later, this boy and his grandmother were walking down the road as our truck was stuck. He carried a whip with him and according to his grandmother he had been put under a Voodoo curse beginning when he was submerged in human waste as an infant. Unable to even grasp why anyone would do this to their child, our Haitian pastor tried to explain just how alive Voodoo is amongst his people. It is very real to them and demonic possession is not something that is uncommon throughout Haiti. He went on to explain about his nation having been dedicated to the Devil by various public officials over the past couple hundred years which in turn has resulted in such a strong Voodoo presence to this day.

Last Days in Port au Prince

(Johnell...he just wanted me to follow him around with the camera)
(Jeremy to my front right, Orlando the right-behind, Fabinna to my left-behind, and Johnell in my arms to the left this was of course the only photo he was not being silly in)
(Jeremy sporting my glasses)
(Man those crazy kids!)











It has taken me a few days to get my bearings and I am still not sure that I have completely. In fact I'm thinking that it could be a month or two before I will...or maybe I am not even sure that I want to. Please don't get me wrong, I am thankful to be back in the US but there is still that piece of Haiti that I pray never leaves me. In addition to all of the sights and sounds, even more so, all of the acts of unconditional love that I witnessed are what I hope will remain. I don't think it's possible to go to a nation like Haiti, meet people like the ones I did, and not be moved and changed because of it. There is no way to know how it'll change a person or to what degree. It could be something as simple as a clarity never before experienced, an appreciation for things that you once took for granted, or it may be a new perspective entirely, but regardless of what takes place, there is no way to leave Haiti without being humbled by its genuineness. Upon arriving back in the States that was the one thing that I have struggled with the most. It is difficult to find people, myself included, that are as genuine and that have as much character as all those I grew to know and love in Haiti. What is it about our culture that keeps us so isolated? What keeps us from caring? Or is it that we actually do care but don't know how to express it?

So the last two days at the orphanage in Port au Prince I spent as much time with the kids as possible. We took photos and goofed around most of the time and I said my goodbyes which did turn out to be just as difficult as I suspected it might be. Though I had only ended spending half as much time as I originally planned with the kids at the orphanage, I still had become quite attached to so many of them. For instance, when I first met little Maralee, she would barely even look at you but by the time it came time for me leave she would not only cry when I would walk away but when I was around her she was now ten times more active than before moving her arms that once remained static. I am not saying that she would not have brightened up for anyone else but just pointing to the fact that there are just so many of these children and not nearly enough people to love on each of them. I can only imagine the progress that a child like Maralee could make if someone could invest that kind of time with her on a consistent basis. The possibilities would be endless. By the time Friday night rolled around, I could barely get myself to go pack for my flight early the following morning.

Now that I am back from Haiti, I am missing those kids soooooo bad, more than I even thought possible. Days later and it still has me tearing up writing this post. I think that the most difficult thing to swallow is the fact that I may never see these kids again or if I do they will very likely be all grown up. I pray that the orphanage there in Port au Prince can step up to the challenge to continue to give them that much needed direction and I pray that as the kids do grow, Christ will be in the forefront of each of their little lives. After all, God must have special plans for them to have even been spared from their, what must have been devastating circumstances, that they should even end up in an orphanage to begin with. As my favorite verse of Scripture states, and God promises for those who Love Him..."For I know the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope." (Jer 29:11)

So it Ends...or 'So it Begins'

Well, I have to apologize for not getting all the posts accomplished last week like I'd hoped to. But if there is one lesson to be learned it is to go with the flow because nothing, no nothing goes right the first time in Haiti and learning to adapt to that is part of the excitement. I am planning to still fill-in for all the missing days, it just may have to be this next week while in Ft Lauderdale...no promises but I sure will try.

So I am currently in Port au Prince back at the orphanage before leaving again oh too soon. Yesterday I was blessed by the opportunity to spend all afternoon and all evening with the kids and hope to do the same today. Time goes so by so fast and just when you think you've run out of energy it's almost miraculous how it seems to be replenished.

Note* The two younger children in the photo are Johnell and Maralee. These two have come to mean so much to me during my two weeks here at the orphanage. Of course you love all the kids but there are always those ones who just find a distincly special place in your heart. Johnell with his funny and and affectionate personality and lil' Miss Maralee who sees me coming from half the complex away and just starts beeming.

The older girl in the other photo, Krystal, actually just came back yesterday after having been gone for the past three weeks. I met her the first day I was here and we became friends but then she had to go to get fitted for a prostetic leg from the knee down. We were so excited to see one another yesterday and she just couldn't wait to show me her news. It was awesome to see the smile on her face.

I Left My Heart in Petit Paradise (part2)

I fell in love with the people of Petit Paradise almost instantly and the children that surrounded you constantly, quickly found their way to my heart. Our group did a medical clinic in the church, medical clinic hut-to-hut, children's VBS, and women's Bible study over a two day span. Looking at all the villages in hindsight, Petit was definitely at the top with the most malnourishment even though the village is now part of a meal program for the school children. The biggest plea from people there was, "muen graw goo" (I'm hungry) and this was also the village where the babies were sitting in the dirt eating pebbles and dirt. Automatically we pulled out whatever we had in our backpacks and removed the rocks and replaced it with granola. This was a sight that I too shall never forget. Why are children on one continent obese and the others are left to eat dirt to make themselves 'feel full'? Even when some of the toddlers made their way over to get some of this granola the first thing that they would do was give their first bite to the younger babies...we are talking 3 and 4 year-olds! You would never see that kind of selflessness, love, and sacrifice back home, much less from such little ones. If the same scenario were presented to American children you would see the opposite demonstrated, there would definitely be fighting and an unwillingness to share. I was blown away by this as were some of my group members. I think that this little gesture says an enormous amount about the camaraderie in Haitian culture. To me this simple yet profound act carried out between babes could teach the world a much needed lesson. I have seen this same selfless behavior more times than I can count throughout this trip, and to me it says, "We are in this together" and that they truly are living out what many of us only proclaim in church on Sundays. To treat one another as we would want to be treated...ring any bells? So often our actions speak much louder than our lives so polluted with words. Throughout my life this has always been something I have replayed in my head, "Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words."(St Augustine?)I am not sure if it has done me any good but it still serves as a constant reminder none-the-less. I love that statement because it really makes one put their life under the microscope and realize just how often we are falling short in thought and deed. Seeing such acts of love from such small children really was enough to bring you to tears and humble you beyond what you thought possible.

How is it that one can fall so madly in-love with a group of people and so quickly? I cannot even begin to express what it was like to say goodbye to everyone there, especially the children. All of their faces will forever reside on my heart and in my mind. You could hear them calling your name and waving as we drove out of sight into the distance and literally I could feel my heart breaking. There is no doubt that a piece of my heart shall always reside there in that petite village that really was so much more than paradise.

"'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: " I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" (Matthew 18:1-4)

I Left My Heart in Petit Paradise (part 1)

It is absolutely amazing when I look back at all the things that God has shown me over the course of this journey and as I reflect on the early days it will really put things into perspective as my travels in Haiti draw to a close. Now my entries from here on out may appear a little out of order because I really would like to share all that I missed out blogging about from my village travels. I have been journaling for the past two days to catch up as well but have so much more to write about...and yet there will still be things that I forget to mention.

So while the journey to the NordQuest was an experience all on its own, that I shall write about on a different day, I wish to share Petit Paradise for now.

So the name could be a bit misleading as the bit of countryside where Petit paradise is located is anything but paradise. It was desert land inhabited by primarily cacti and dirt, and if were not for all of the people that I met there I probably would have suggested they change their name. But the people of Petit were what made it paradise.

As we arrived in the in the big Mack truck the children came running out of their huts with excitement. Yes, I said huts. You could just see the joy all over their faces and their shouts were so very different than the shouts(I will share in a later post of the PAP encounter)we received in Port au Prince and other areas. It was genuine love and acceptance from the second they saw us driving down that treacherous dusty mountainside. When driving up and approaching Petit Paradise one could see some 15 to 20 huts off in the distance. This sight is enough to make one have to do not only a double take but more like a quadruple take. What? Do they really live in the huts like we've only ever seen on the History Channel??? How can this be? Once you pinch yourself and come to realize that your are indeed still on the same planet that you had departed from less than 24 hours prior, you are just left there in amazement. We unloaded all of the supplies and trekked up the steep hill to where the church building was located and it was not long before what seemed like the whole village had also made their way up the hill. The people were intrigued by us but were very warm and welcoming. The people of Petit all had a certain genuineness that I can not even begin to describe. The closest parallel that I can make is by relating them to my little brother, Max, who has down syndrome. This is a very difficult thing to try to relay to anyone who has no experience with special needs kids but I shall try to just the same. The thing that both of them have in common is this 'innocence.' It's almost as if they are both untainted by the ways of this world. Max and the people of Petit see you, they love you, and they accept you for no other reason other than that you are you. As I was sharing with one of my Christian brothers from Atlanta the other day, they love you because you are there, no manipulation or strings attached. In our world there are so often ulterior motives in our relationships and in our interactions with one another. For example, we befriend someone because we think it will benefit us or our career in some way because of what they can do for us, not because we appreciate the person for who they are. Why have we become so self-absorbed? It is interesting to note that in our materialistic world, it is what we own that that we allow to drive us. we think that the more we own, the better off and happier we'll be. What's wrong with this ideal? We need to stop lying to ourselves because if that were the case then we as 'Americans' should be the happiest and most fulfilled people, at least according to the above standard,right? Why is it that so many people in America suffer from depression, thoughts of suicide and overall dissatisfaction? And yet in Haiti, yes, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, the country that just lost hundreds of thousands of people in a massive earthquake, and the country with more people out of work and out of homes than one could imagine, suicide is unheard of? I have had Haitian brothers share that suicide is just not something that crosses peoples' minds because they are used to making the most of a crummy situation. God has been sharing with me through my daily devotions on adversity. "By means of their suffering, [God] rescues those who suffer. For he gets their attention through adversity." (Job 36:15) In my devotional, it also stated that it is in our difficult times that we learn more about God than when we are coasting right along through the easy times. So though it may be a difficult thing to do it is in these times that we should be rejoicing. Laughing when the world says we should be crying and really just being a testament to all that God has done for us though we are so undeserving.

Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big your God is.
(anonymous)

Cap Haitian Relaxation

So we were up early this morning preparing for my flight to Cap Haitian, ready to leave by 6am, and if you are at all familiar with Haiti and the Haitian concept of time you know that there really is not one. And if there is a possibility that something could go wrong, it will be sure to do that at the last minute. So two of the vehicles refused to start right when we were needing to leave this morning. And before I had spent time in Haiti this would have had me stressing but after having now spent three weeks in Haiti, one learns to adopt the laid back Haitian attitude. I really hope that this is something that sticks with me because it is much better and much healthier than stressing out over every little thing. It really and truly does take a lot to get a Haitian individual stressed out. To cut that story short, I did make it to the airport with plenty of time to spare and flew to Cap Haitian on the smallest plane ever! Sara's(my dear friend) dad was there to greet me when I arrived and I must say I am staying at what most be the most beautiful place in all of Haiti, the Mont Joli Hotel. Sara's father manages the Mont Joli hotel and has made me to feel like I was part of the family from the moment I arrived. It is what one might classify a resort...I think they might even have hot water! And it is the weirdest thing to have air conditioning, honestly I think I now prefer no air conditioning after having gone all this time without it. I must also admit that moving from a mission mindset to more of a tourist mindset has and continues to be a very difficult transition.

I have already made some new friends from Tennessee here at the hotel. They too invited me to join their medical group for this week but the timing as far as flight coordination did not allow for it. We did however walk the streets of Cap Haitian today on our way to the Hospital(to fill prescriptions for those in the pediatric ward) and it really was an experience in itself. Most of the time in Port au Prince I have been in the back of a truck as we traveled but to be actually walking and interacting with the people around town was really neat. Hospitals here in Haiti are so different than those back home. If you are fortunate enough to have access to one of the few hospitals in Haiti, when you arrive you are placed in a big room with all the other patients and when the doctor treats you they write out a prescription though they know that most of the people will not be able to have that prescription filled. This aspect is not all that different than healthcare at home but for most of the people here, insurance of any kind is unheard of. Which in turn brings up the point, why go at all? What if it were not for people like this who answered God's call to serve and help the people that find themselves in such a bind? It is just unfathomable to me to see God work in such amazing ways. There are over 40,000 missionaries currently serving in Haiti! How can anyone even doubt that we serve a powerful God? What else can explain so many people uniting and sacraficing to such a degree? I continue to be amazed at how God is working and ministering to His people in Haiti. "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God-those whom He has called according to His plan." (Romans 8:28) I pray that He continues to call people to serve and minister to the suffering Haitian people so that they might come out of this tragedy stronger than ever and rooted in His Word and His promises.

Above is a photo of my room here in OCap and the view from my window...gorgeous!

Recap in OCap

So after having to flee the children's prayer service with flu-like symptoms and a bit concerned that I might have contracted Malaria, I had to call it an early night and tell the girls in the clinic that I was going to pass on our nightly card games. Though this being sick bit I have just had to continue trusting, knowing that He will not give me more than I can handle. Though I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am a little bummed that this is how I am spending my last day before I leave for Cap Haitian(aka OCap) tomorrow morning. But it was the strangest thing, not strange when you know God is in the mix, but when I went to the airport yesteday to buy my ticket something made me change my return date to Port au Prince to a day earlier than I'd originally planned. So I guess I will be able to make up to the kids for today before I return to the states next Saturday.

As this next week could not possibly be as jammed packed as these past few have been, what I hope to be able to do is to backtrack just a little. For any of you that might be interested, I have made it my goal to return to the first phase of my journey and blog for each of the days at the villages when I was unable to blog the first time around. I have been deliberating over this these past couple days as to if there would even be an interest there. I have come to the conclusion that there were just so many things that would be left out if I did not. I also thought that with the assistance of the thousands of photos I might be able to look back and reflect. I also thought that this might also help me gain some closure for what has been the most unforgetable month of my life. Stay tuned for more.

Note* These are two of the children I've bonded with here at the orphanage. Funa is the little girl who has plates put in her leg. She is just about the cuttest little girl and she is one of the ones trying to teach me to (jwe kats) play cards at night. The other little one is Gino and refers to everyone as 'hey you' which I now answer to...so it seems as though I have acquired yet another nickname!

With Child-like Faith

So today and yesterday were both days of catching up from the emotional drain of the previous couple of weeks. I have been spending most of my time around the orphanage waiting for the kids' school day to be finished. Today I went with three of the people who help run
this orphanage to visit another orphanage that was up in the mountains. It was about a three hour drive each way but had some of the most gorgeous views I've seen yet. It absolutely amazes me that throughout this journey I have seen some of the most awe inspiring pieces of countryside coupled with the most heartwrenching scenes and living conditions. It certainly has been a lot to absorb...to say the least.

One of the things I have come to appreciate the most is the children's nightly prayer service. The first time I went I had children hanging all over me, all of which by the end of service had fallen asleep and were limp in my arms. It was pretty comical because I was trying desperately not to drop anyone or let anyone slip off the bench. I have since learned to limit myself to only a couple that I know I can handle. None-the-less it is one of my absolute favorite memories because you can tell that these children trust you without reserve. They often will check to make sure that you have your arm all the way around them and if it is not, you better believe they will grab hold of your hand and wrap it all the way around to their little bellies. It must contribute to the sense of security and desire to feel loved that we all so desperately want and need, even if we try to conceal it. Why is it that we so often feel the need to cover up this deep rooted desire? Is it because we are afraid to show weakness of any kind? Why do we think that we can handle so many things all on our own? These little ones have taught me so much through such simple means. We too should share in this child-like faith, trusting without reservations and
turning to Him without hesitation for that so sought after desire to be loved. If the children can do this why is it so difficult for us? Why does He have to continually remind us of such simple concepts? Tonight my prayer is simply stated in that all of us might return to the mindset of children when it comes to our relationship with our Heavenly Father, our refuge.

While I still am uncertain as to why God has me here now, I do know that He has been teaching me a lot along the way.

I wish I was a doctor who could heal all the injured people of Haiti. I wish I was an engineer who could rebuild and restructure Haiti
to prevent further catastrophies for the Haitian people. I wish I was a counselor so I could help heal all the brokenhearted and defeated people in Haiti...but I'm not. God has really been revealing a ton to me regarding this very subject. We of course all have our different talents and that whatever they might be they should be used to glorify Him. This whole trip I have struggled with this tremendously, feeling myself a bit defeated because I was not doing more... me behind my silly camera. I guess it has just taken me a while to realize the importance of that role too. As I have been working through the book of Romans this week, this verse really seemed applicable. "But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who fomed it, 'Why have you made me like this?'"(Romans 9:20)


*Note: Top photo is of a little boy along the roadside on our way up the mountain this morning.

Feeling Overwhelmed

I have met and bonded with so many people over the past couple weeks only to say goodbye to each and every one of them. I must admit I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and perhaps emotionally exhausted. It has just been an "off-day" today because of it. I have been helping with yet another medical group from Ohio for the past two days assisting mainly with crowd control, which I never realized what a difficult role that was until recently. Many of the people that come to the clinics have not seen a doctor in years, if ever. With that said and understandably so, they are very determined and some might say agressive when it comes to these clinics.

Everyday that passes I fall a little bit more in love with all these children at the orphanage. The kids now look for me in the evening for our routine soccer match and a few of the other little ones cling on to you for dear life and just want for you to hold them. I cannot remember the last time I fed and rocked a baby to sleep...oh how sweet it is...the past couple nights I have had that opportunity. So many of the children, especially the special needs kids have that smile that can absolutely melt your heart. I can already tell that it is going to be painful when it comes time to leave.

Photo of baby Maralee and myself. She is believed to be between 3 and 4 years old.

Photo of four of the boys who were having fun with my camera today after today's clinic in Calabash, Haiti.

Subtle Reminders

Though the reality may be sad in and of itself there is also so much to be thankful for. So much beauty still left in the world and we must never neglect to make time to sit in awe of His beauty that surrounds us. To make time for something as simple and yet as powerful as a sunset. I would also like to just make note that often it can take bringing a person, or in this instance, a nation to it's breaking point in order for it's people to fix their minds and heart on Him. Though the rest of the world around us may be in shambles we have a rock, a source of stability that reaches far beyond any man-made sense of security. Is that not worth so much more.

One of our translators and myself toured a school the other day and when a group of teenagers were asked why they were so happy, they responded with, "because we are still alive."--May we all adopt this same mentality so that we never miss a door that God may be opening right before our eyes.

“But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you; how much less this house that I have built! (1 Kings 8:27)

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands." (Acts 17:24)

Reality of Haiti

I certainly do not want for my posts to be focused on the negative aspects of Haiti but just wanted to share briefly about the reality of the situation. There are UN troops stationed on everywhere likely with the "keeping the peace" aim.

Since rainy season has now arrived, the sad tents made of sheets as shown above are simply not cutting it. As one can imagine the rain just spews into these individuals homes providing absolutely no protection from the elements. And if a family is fortunate enough to have a tarp or water resistant material for a shelter they now have to worry about the ground beneath them washing away.

There are more buildings destroyed than one could have imagined. All the media coverage did not emphasize exactly how far reaching this destruction was. Builings were cracked and destroyed not only in Port au Prince but even the surrounding rural areas...no one was untouched in some form or another especially considering Port au Prince is the whole nation's hub for all activity. Every so many feet there are piles of rubble and every so many feet a building completely collapsed. The part that I cannot seem to get out of my head is that these building remnants are grave sites to so many. There is no doubt that due to the way the builings crumbled there must be thousands whose bodies were and never will be uncovered.

Last Day of Clinic

So my third degree burns(ok, maybe only 2nd) have finally set in from last week's 10+ hour truck drive back into Port au Prince. You've never felt the sun beating down on you until you have had that experience in Haiti. So I just came back from spending the evening with the Miami group who is preparing to leave on Sunday. I still cannot believe that yet another team will now have come and went already. Today was the last day of clinic and we saw over 250 people collectively. This village was set East of Port au Prince and again today we encountered quite a few malnurished children, little ones who barely had the energy to wake from their sleeping. We can give their mothers a supply of food but it will
only last so long. Scabies was another huge plague for this village.

It is difficult to see another group preparing to return home because you sort of become attached after spending so much time together. But it will all work out because that just means I should have that much more time to spend getting to know the children here. Tonight was awesome I got to play a little soccer with three of the older kids, Castella, David, and Jeremy (not the one from the other day's post). Boys won, atleast until the soon to be rematch. I will say playing in a skirt definitely made it more challenging. Oh and my former basketball skills are so not what they used to be as evident from yesterday's face off. Stay tuned for more on the sports front! For those of you that know me, you know that this is right up my alley. All I need now is to get a volleyball match in the works! But the kids here are awesome I am finally getting to know a few of them. It was difficult at first because there are about a hundred and fifteen kids at this orphanage and it was quite overwhelming at first. I can't wait to spend more time here!!! I will try to get some photos of these kids up soon.

I cannot wait to share all of these photos with you all when I get home! I have met so many amazing and interesting people along this journey whose faces I shall never forget. The photo I have posted with today's entry is a portrait of a sweet little lady from Tuesday's clinic who really knew how to work the camera. This photo is by far one of my favorites from the trip thus far.

Oh and I forgot to share my close call incident from yesteday. I found a computer to which I could connect my camera and my external harddrive (to backup all 3000 photos asap) to and one memory card in particular continually was giving me the "error" "corrupt and unreadable files contained" message. I put the card back in my camera and it said "no image". My heart sank as I tried to recover my 700+ photos from the village of Tionce. And before i went to bed I thought I would try one of my other friend's Mac computers and no joke all the photos were there. Without a doubt it was miraculous and I am so thankful that I will be able to share these pictures from Tionce, the village on the beach.

Endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. - (Romans 5:4)
- May the Lord be forever building character in us no matter where life leads us.

Clinics in Port au Prince

It really says something when a bar of soap becomes one's most prized possession. Oh the simple things you learn to appreciate...from a flushing toliet instead of a hole in the ground, water from a faucet even if you still cant drink it, a bed with a pillow instead of a slab of concrete and your suitcase. The hard part to digest is that I will likely be here for a few more weeks but then I will return home, the people that I have been meeting don't have that option. This is it, this is home.

Clinic days have continued throughout most of this week. I cannot even believe that I will have been here for yet another week already. The past two weeks have flown by. Monday's clinic was in a tent city in Leogene, Tuesday's in Vil Paradise, and yesterday's was in Gressier. It is amazing how quickly word spreads that there is a clinic in town and the numbers of people flooding in are astronomical. Apart from my camera work my job this week continues to be wound care assistant. This is funny to me that i should have ended up in this category, as I have an incredibly weak stomach. I will say that God must have equiped me since I have arrived because I have not had one issue adapting. We have seen quite a lot of malnurished babies who may not survive, it's heartbreaking. It makes one feel incredibly helpless. What is the answer? Is there one?

*Note: The photos above were from yesterday's clinic in Gressier. It is funny how as soon as the "Blanc" (white people...that's what we are referred to as) come to town...the schools let out and people start coming from everywhere! The public schools in Haiti do have their children wear different uniforms for each of the schools so it is easy to differeniate who goes to which school.

Joy Amid Devastation

So I have not been spending as much time at the orphanage as I thought I would be but considering I have the next two weeks I hope to be able to later this week and most of next week. So far since I have arrived at the orphanage I have spent the last two days in the tent cities as we set up afternoon free clinics. I have made friends with a new group from a church in Miami and they have been letting me assist them with organizing their meds for the clinic and assisting with the wound care individual. I must say once again that this is an entirely new type of devastation than the type we experienced in the mountain region but interestingly enough these same people touched by devastation are amazingly happy. The Haitian people as a whole have been finding contentment despite their circumstances. They smile, laugh, and enjoy the simple things, which I find rather inspiring. So often at least in my own life, I find myself getting worked up and stressed out over trivial matters and many times let these worries dictate my days. I truly thought that I was traveling to Haiti to minister to the Haitian people...but the fact of the matter is that they are ministering to me. Just from my observation alone, they have helped me immensely to see what truly matters. Life is way too short and precious to let our situations get the best of us. I pray that God will continue to guide my every step here and even if I cannot see the big picture now, as in why He's sent me to Haiti, may His purpose be made known to me when the time is right.

*(above)Six year old, Jeremy wears the hat of a US soldier. We were surprised after yesterday's church service under the mango tree by a visit from General Keen (US Gen stationed in Haiti since the earthquake). Soldiers and Marines visited with the kids all afternoon. It really was a very special privilage to have them here.

Northwest Mountain Times

We finally arrived in Port au Prince yesterday afternoon after an extremely moving nine days
in the Northwest Mountain villages of Petite Paradise, Guinaudee, Bouchon Patriot, and Tionce. It will be very difficult to try and summarize all that I have seen and experienced since we arrived in Haiti. There has been so much laughter, so many tears, but above all the exchange of love that has been overpowering. I have fallen in love with so many of these children and people. I am absolutely blown away by the fact that these people have so little but yet so much all at the same time. It again brings up the question as to who is "richer" or "better off." They may not have all the material items that the world classifies as wealth but they have their unwaivering faith...are they not richer as far as eternity is concerned? The children in these parts are overflowing with love and are starved for not only food but affection even more so.

In Port au Prince today we drove to one of the tent cities to set up a new tent for a family and I have now seen an entirely new type of devastation. The streets of Haiti are unlike anything I have ever seen. There are thousands living in these tent villages(organized tent establishments that do receive assistance from outside sources) and cities(run by individuals with no government assistance). And one cannot help but wonder if the stench that seems to reside over this city is not the lingering smell of death after the loss of over 240,000 people in the earthquake catastrophe.

It appears as though my next step will be spending some time with the children at this orphanage some of whom were left orphaned by the quake and the others whose parents just simply can not care for them. Either way these children too are very much in need of the same love and affection. May it be my prayer that God will continue to use me however He needs and that he will continue to teach me to love like Him so that I can share that with these little ones every minute I am to be Blessed by their presence. "...Walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us..." (Ephesians 5:2)

*Note: The baby girl above along with a few other babies were eating dirt and pebbles to fill their stomachs...an image that will forever be upon my heart.

Ft Lauderdale - The Rundown

So after having not flown in over half a decade, today's sure was an awesome way to ease back into it. The first leg of today's flight started with the most beautiful sunrise. In some strange way, I found great comfort in its subtle elegance. God took what could have been one of the most intimidating days and turned it into just another opportunity for me to rest in awe of Him. So both flights today went seamlessly as did meeting up with head of the ministry. I definitely think wearing electric yellow helped him find me in the crowd! Upon leaving the airport and arriving at the Chaulker's home I quickly made friends with a group of Christians from Indiana who were amazed to find out that I was flying solo. We all had an amazing afternoon at the beach, driving through the ritzy Palm Beach area, and packing bag after bag full with medical supplies and other necessities to bring to the people. I have learned so much already about what to expect tomorrow. I am also pleased to announce that my excitement has increased tenfold the more I learn about the Haitian people. I really can't wait for this experience of a lifetime to get started and to see all that God has planned for us to serve in.Tonight will be the last night with all the conveniences of home...at least for the next 10 days. Just a heads up but I will most likely be out of contact altogether during this time as well. Just go with then old motto of..."no news is good news."

Just a Fact for the Day:
Desperation leaves the people of Haiti making "cookies" of baked dirt that are often fed to the children in an effort to quench their hunger. Though the dirt cookies make the children feel full, the adverse reactions do a great deal of damage to these poor childrens' intestines as one might imagine. Just for record's sake, these cookies sell for a nickel each.(see photo)

Verse for the Day:
He must Increase, I must decrease. (John 3:30)
-This is my prayer for our whole group, that when we serve, the people would not see "Us," but rather, You...Your love Lord pouring out of our genuine hearts of service in Your name.

Only hours to go...

I am new to this 'blog business' so please be patient with me as I figure it out along the way. So it is down to the wire and I am in desperate need to start packing. The airlines are currently allowing one 50lb. bag plus a carry-on (which for me, will be dedicated primarily to camera equipment). Packing will definitely have to be very minimal because any extra poundage that I don't use, the ministry will be able to bring additional supplies over with. The excitement is building as are the nerves. Many of us are so unbelievably Blessed in our nation to never really have any 'real' needs that go unmet, that I am certain this shall be a truly humbling experience above all else. I am so very Blessed by this opportunity.

Why blog?

I have created this blog with the hope that I will be able to keep track of my journey through Haiti over the course of the next few weeks. The Living Water Ministries group will be departing on April 1, 2010. Earthquake ravaged Haiti has without a doubt been brought to it's knees due to the recent events. And while the group has a medical focus, I have been placed in a position that has me documenting, via photography, this journey from beginning to end.