So it Ends...or 'So it Begins'

Well, I have to apologize for not getting all the posts accomplished last week like I'd hoped to. But if there is one lesson to be learned it is to go with the flow because nothing, no nothing goes right the first time in Haiti and learning to adapt to that is part of the excitement. I am planning to still fill-in for all the missing days, it just may have to be this next week while in Ft Lauderdale...no promises but I sure will try.

So I am currently in Port au Prince back at the orphanage before leaving again oh too soon. Yesterday I was blessed by the opportunity to spend all afternoon and all evening with the kids and hope to do the same today. Time goes so by so fast and just when you think you've run out of energy it's almost miraculous how it seems to be replenished.

Note* The two younger children in the photo are Johnell and Maralee. These two have come to mean so much to me during my two weeks here at the orphanage. Of course you love all the kids but there are always those ones who just find a distincly special place in your heart. Johnell with his funny and and affectionate personality and lil' Miss Maralee who sees me coming from half the complex away and just starts beeming.

The older girl in the other photo, Krystal, actually just came back yesterday after having been gone for the past three weeks. I met her the first day I was here and we became friends but then she had to go to get fitted for a prostetic leg from the knee down. We were so excited to see one another yesterday and she just couldn't wait to show me her news. It was awesome to see the smile on her face.

I Left My Heart in Petit Paradise (part2)

I fell in love with the people of Petit Paradise almost instantly and the children that surrounded you constantly, quickly found their way to my heart. Our group did a medical clinic in the church, medical clinic hut-to-hut, children's VBS, and women's Bible study over a two day span. Looking at all the villages in hindsight, Petit was definitely at the top with the most malnourishment even though the village is now part of a meal program for the school children. The biggest plea from people there was, "muen graw goo" (I'm hungry) and this was also the village where the babies were sitting in the dirt eating pebbles and dirt. Automatically we pulled out whatever we had in our backpacks and removed the rocks and replaced it with granola. This was a sight that I too shall never forget. Why are children on one continent obese and the others are left to eat dirt to make themselves 'feel full'? Even when some of the toddlers made their way over to get some of this granola the first thing that they would do was give their first bite to the younger babies...we are talking 3 and 4 year-olds! You would never see that kind of selflessness, love, and sacrifice back home, much less from such little ones. If the same scenario were presented to American children you would see the opposite demonstrated, there would definitely be fighting and an unwillingness to share. I was blown away by this as were some of my group members. I think that this little gesture says an enormous amount about the camaraderie in Haitian culture. To me this simple yet profound act carried out between babes could teach the world a much needed lesson. I have seen this same selfless behavior more times than I can count throughout this trip, and to me it says, "We are in this together" and that they truly are living out what many of us only proclaim in church on Sundays. To treat one another as we would want to be treated...ring any bells? So often our actions speak much louder than our lives so polluted with words. Throughout my life this has always been something I have replayed in my head, "Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words."(St Augustine?)I am not sure if it has done me any good but it still serves as a constant reminder none-the-less. I love that statement because it really makes one put their life under the microscope and realize just how often we are falling short in thought and deed. Seeing such acts of love from such small children really was enough to bring you to tears and humble you beyond what you thought possible.

How is it that one can fall so madly in-love with a group of people and so quickly? I cannot even begin to express what it was like to say goodbye to everyone there, especially the children. All of their faces will forever reside on my heart and in my mind. You could hear them calling your name and waving as we drove out of sight into the distance and literally I could feel my heart breaking. There is no doubt that a piece of my heart shall always reside there in that petite village that really was so much more than paradise.

"'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: " I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" (Matthew 18:1-4)

I Left My Heart in Petit Paradise (part 1)

It is absolutely amazing when I look back at all the things that God has shown me over the course of this journey and as I reflect on the early days it will really put things into perspective as my travels in Haiti draw to a close. Now my entries from here on out may appear a little out of order because I really would like to share all that I missed out blogging about from my village travels. I have been journaling for the past two days to catch up as well but have so much more to write about...and yet there will still be things that I forget to mention.

So while the journey to the NordQuest was an experience all on its own, that I shall write about on a different day, I wish to share Petit Paradise for now.

So the name could be a bit misleading as the bit of countryside where Petit paradise is located is anything but paradise. It was desert land inhabited by primarily cacti and dirt, and if were not for all of the people that I met there I probably would have suggested they change their name. But the people of Petit were what made it paradise.

As we arrived in the in the big Mack truck the children came running out of their huts with excitement. Yes, I said huts. You could just see the joy all over their faces and their shouts were so very different than the shouts(I will share in a later post of the PAP encounter)we received in Port au Prince and other areas. It was genuine love and acceptance from the second they saw us driving down that treacherous dusty mountainside. When driving up and approaching Petit Paradise one could see some 15 to 20 huts off in the distance. This sight is enough to make one have to do not only a double take but more like a quadruple take. What? Do they really live in the huts like we've only ever seen on the History Channel??? How can this be? Once you pinch yourself and come to realize that your are indeed still on the same planet that you had departed from less than 24 hours prior, you are just left there in amazement. We unloaded all of the supplies and trekked up the steep hill to where the church building was located and it was not long before what seemed like the whole village had also made their way up the hill. The people were intrigued by us but were very warm and welcoming. The people of Petit all had a certain genuineness that I can not even begin to describe. The closest parallel that I can make is by relating them to my little brother, Max, who has down syndrome. This is a very difficult thing to try to relay to anyone who has no experience with special needs kids but I shall try to just the same. The thing that both of them have in common is this 'innocence.' It's almost as if they are both untainted by the ways of this world. Max and the people of Petit see you, they love you, and they accept you for no other reason other than that you are you. As I was sharing with one of my Christian brothers from Atlanta the other day, they love you because you are there, no manipulation or strings attached. In our world there are so often ulterior motives in our relationships and in our interactions with one another. For example, we befriend someone because we think it will benefit us or our career in some way because of what they can do for us, not because we appreciate the person for who they are. Why have we become so self-absorbed? It is interesting to note that in our materialistic world, it is what we own that that we allow to drive us. we think that the more we own, the better off and happier we'll be. What's wrong with this ideal? We need to stop lying to ourselves because if that were the case then we as 'Americans' should be the happiest and most fulfilled people, at least according to the above standard,right? Why is it that so many people in America suffer from depression, thoughts of suicide and overall dissatisfaction? And yet in Haiti, yes, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, the country that just lost hundreds of thousands of people in a massive earthquake, and the country with more people out of work and out of homes than one could imagine, suicide is unheard of? I have had Haitian brothers share that suicide is just not something that crosses peoples' minds because they are used to making the most of a crummy situation. God has been sharing with me through my daily devotions on adversity. "By means of their suffering, [God] rescues those who suffer. For he gets their attention through adversity." (Job 36:15) In my devotional, it also stated that it is in our difficult times that we learn more about God than when we are coasting right along through the easy times. So though it may be a difficult thing to do it is in these times that we should be rejoicing. Laughing when the world says we should be crying and really just being a testament to all that God has done for us though we are so undeserving.

Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big your God is.
(anonymous)

Cap Haitian Relaxation

So we were up early this morning preparing for my flight to Cap Haitian, ready to leave by 6am, and if you are at all familiar with Haiti and the Haitian concept of time you know that there really is not one. And if there is a possibility that something could go wrong, it will be sure to do that at the last minute. So two of the vehicles refused to start right when we were needing to leave this morning. And before I had spent time in Haiti this would have had me stressing but after having now spent three weeks in Haiti, one learns to adopt the laid back Haitian attitude. I really hope that this is something that sticks with me because it is much better and much healthier than stressing out over every little thing. It really and truly does take a lot to get a Haitian individual stressed out. To cut that story short, I did make it to the airport with plenty of time to spare and flew to Cap Haitian on the smallest plane ever! Sara's(my dear friend) dad was there to greet me when I arrived and I must say I am staying at what most be the most beautiful place in all of Haiti, the Mont Joli Hotel. Sara's father manages the Mont Joli hotel and has made me to feel like I was part of the family from the moment I arrived. It is what one might classify a resort...I think they might even have hot water! And it is the weirdest thing to have air conditioning, honestly I think I now prefer no air conditioning after having gone all this time without it. I must also admit that moving from a mission mindset to more of a tourist mindset has and continues to be a very difficult transition.

I have already made some new friends from Tennessee here at the hotel. They too invited me to join their medical group for this week but the timing as far as flight coordination did not allow for it. We did however walk the streets of Cap Haitian today on our way to the Hospital(to fill prescriptions for those in the pediatric ward) and it really was an experience in itself. Most of the time in Port au Prince I have been in the back of a truck as we traveled but to be actually walking and interacting with the people around town was really neat. Hospitals here in Haiti are so different than those back home. If you are fortunate enough to have access to one of the few hospitals in Haiti, when you arrive you are placed in a big room with all the other patients and when the doctor treats you they write out a prescription though they know that most of the people will not be able to have that prescription filled. This aspect is not all that different than healthcare at home but for most of the people here, insurance of any kind is unheard of. Which in turn brings up the point, why go at all? What if it were not for people like this who answered God's call to serve and help the people that find themselves in such a bind? It is just unfathomable to me to see God work in such amazing ways. There are over 40,000 missionaries currently serving in Haiti! How can anyone even doubt that we serve a powerful God? What else can explain so many people uniting and sacraficing to such a degree? I continue to be amazed at how God is working and ministering to His people in Haiti. "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God-those whom He has called according to His plan." (Romans 8:28) I pray that He continues to call people to serve and minister to the suffering Haitian people so that they might come out of this tragedy stronger than ever and rooted in His Word and His promises.

Above is a photo of my room here in OCap and the view from my window...gorgeous!

Recap in OCap

So after having to flee the children's prayer service with flu-like symptoms and a bit concerned that I might have contracted Malaria, I had to call it an early night and tell the girls in the clinic that I was going to pass on our nightly card games. Though this being sick bit I have just had to continue trusting, knowing that He will not give me more than I can handle. Though I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am a little bummed that this is how I am spending my last day before I leave for Cap Haitian(aka OCap) tomorrow morning. But it was the strangest thing, not strange when you know God is in the mix, but when I went to the airport yesteday to buy my ticket something made me change my return date to Port au Prince to a day earlier than I'd originally planned. So I guess I will be able to make up to the kids for today before I return to the states next Saturday.

As this next week could not possibly be as jammed packed as these past few have been, what I hope to be able to do is to backtrack just a little. For any of you that might be interested, I have made it my goal to return to the first phase of my journey and blog for each of the days at the villages when I was unable to blog the first time around. I have been deliberating over this these past couple days as to if there would even be an interest there. I have come to the conclusion that there were just so many things that would be left out if I did not. I also thought that with the assistance of the thousands of photos I might be able to look back and reflect. I also thought that this might also help me gain some closure for what has been the most unforgetable month of my life. Stay tuned for more.

Note* These are two of the children I've bonded with here at the orphanage. Funa is the little girl who has plates put in her leg. She is just about the cuttest little girl and she is one of the ones trying to teach me to (jwe kats) play cards at night. The other little one is Gino and refers to everyone as 'hey you' which I now answer to...so it seems as though I have acquired yet another nickname!

With Child-like Faith

So today and yesterday were both days of catching up from the emotional drain of the previous couple of weeks. I have been spending most of my time around the orphanage waiting for the kids' school day to be finished. Today I went with three of the people who help run
this orphanage to visit another orphanage that was up in the mountains. It was about a three hour drive each way but had some of the most gorgeous views I've seen yet. It absolutely amazes me that throughout this journey I have seen some of the most awe inspiring pieces of countryside coupled with the most heartwrenching scenes and living conditions. It certainly has been a lot to absorb...to say the least.

One of the things I have come to appreciate the most is the children's nightly prayer service. The first time I went I had children hanging all over me, all of which by the end of service had fallen asleep and were limp in my arms. It was pretty comical because I was trying desperately not to drop anyone or let anyone slip off the bench. I have since learned to limit myself to only a couple that I know I can handle. None-the-less it is one of my absolute favorite memories because you can tell that these children trust you without reserve. They often will check to make sure that you have your arm all the way around them and if it is not, you better believe they will grab hold of your hand and wrap it all the way around to their little bellies. It must contribute to the sense of security and desire to feel loved that we all so desperately want and need, even if we try to conceal it. Why is it that we so often feel the need to cover up this deep rooted desire? Is it because we are afraid to show weakness of any kind? Why do we think that we can handle so many things all on our own? These little ones have taught me so much through such simple means. We too should share in this child-like faith, trusting without reservations and
turning to Him without hesitation for that so sought after desire to be loved. If the children can do this why is it so difficult for us? Why does He have to continually remind us of such simple concepts? Tonight my prayer is simply stated in that all of us might return to the mindset of children when it comes to our relationship with our Heavenly Father, our refuge.

While I still am uncertain as to why God has me here now, I do know that He has been teaching me a lot along the way.

I wish I was a doctor who could heal all the injured people of Haiti. I wish I was an engineer who could rebuild and restructure Haiti
to prevent further catastrophies for the Haitian people. I wish I was a counselor so I could help heal all the brokenhearted and defeated people in Haiti...but I'm not. God has really been revealing a ton to me regarding this very subject. We of course all have our different talents and that whatever they might be they should be used to glorify Him. This whole trip I have struggled with this tremendously, feeling myself a bit defeated because I was not doing more... me behind my silly camera. I guess it has just taken me a while to realize the importance of that role too. As I have been working through the book of Romans this week, this verse really seemed applicable. "But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who fomed it, 'Why have you made me like this?'"(Romans 9:20)


*Note: Top photo is of a little boy along the roadside on our way up the mountain this morning.

Feeling Overwhelmed

I have met and bonded with so many people over the past couple weeks only to say goodbye to each and every one of them. I must admit I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and perhaps emotionally exhausted. It has just been an "off-day" today because of it. I have been helping with yet another medical group from Ohio for the past two days assisting mainly with crowd control, which I never realized what a difficult role that was until recently. Many of the people that come to the clinics have not seen a doctor in years, if ever. With that said and understandably so, they are very determined and some might say agressive when it comes to these clinics.

Everyday that passes I fall a little bit more in love with all these children at the orphanage. The kids now look for me in the evening for our routine soccer match and a few of the other little ones cling on to you for dear life and just want for you to hold them. I cannot remember the last time I fed and rocked a baby to sleep...oh how sweet it is...the past couple nights I have had that opportunity. So many of the children, especially the special needs kids have that smile that can absolutely melt your heart. I can already tell that it is going to be painful when it comes time to leave.

Photo of baby Maralee and myself. She is believed to be between 3 and 4 years old.

Photo of four of the boys who were having fun with my camera today after today's clinic in Calabash, Haiti.